21Oct14

catman has gone over the rainbow bridge… as he was leaving i told him now he could run and jump and climb and shred things and kick ass cause his arthritis was gone and his heart was strong and he can eat anything instead of cat mush cause he has all his teeth… also told him to come back as a maine coon!! this flower started blooming yesterday and so i dedicate it to him. i will be offline for a couple days but i am at peace now that he is… thank you all for your thoughts and love and light… smooches and cat kisses…

catman has gone over the rainbow bridge... as he was leaving i told him now he could run and jump and climb and shred things and kick ass cause his arthritis was gone and his heart was strong and he can eat anything instead of cat mush cause he has all his teeth... also told him to come back as a maine coon!! this flower started blooming yesterday and so i dedicate it to him. i will be offline for a couple days but i am at peace now that he is... thank you all for your thoughts and love and light... smooches and cat kisses...
catman 10-21-2014

an after death experience…

so catman visited my dreams on tuesday night… he looked great, not sick at all, fluffy and cocky as hell… was standing straight and walking normal… he, of course, yelled at me for sleeping on the couch which is when i woke up and went to bed… some things never change…

it does hurt bad though but i have found that talking to his picture really helps… weird but it works and whatever works to keep me from sinking any further is okay…

compound this with another situation (of my own choosing, of course) and that old siren song “depression” echos in my head…

so now i turn on my music and i dance… and that is what will save me…

j

AN UDATE ON CATMAN

to let you know what’s going on with the old man, let me start by showing you what the three main problems he is experiencing are…
FELINE HYPERTHROIDISM
Weight loss and increased appetite are among the most common clinical signs of this condition. Weight loss is seen in 95 to 98 percent of hyperthyroid cats, and a hearty appetite in 67 to 81 percent. Excessive thirst, increased urination, hyperactivity, unkempt appearance, panting, diarrhea and increased shedding have also been reported.  Vomiting is seen in about 50 percent of affected cats. Clinical signs are a result of the effect of increased T4 levels on various organ systems.
HYPERTROPHIC CARDIOMYOPATHY:
 Scottish Fold cats have tendency to develop Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy. This disease is caused by thickening of the walls of the main pumping chamber of the heart, the left ventricle which can lead to congestive heart failure
OSTEOCHONDRODYSPLASIA
.All cats with folded ears develop osteochondrodysplasia. In cats which are homozygous for the abnormal gene (ie having two copies of it), a progressive, crippling arthritis develops early in life whilst in those which are heterozygous (with only one mutant gene), the arthritis tends to progress more slowly (Malik 2001). Affected cats may be grossly deformed, with short wide limbs and a short, inflexible tail. They show lameness, swollen wrist (carpal) and ankle (tarsal) joints, have an abnormal gait, and are reluctant to move and jump. Severely affected individuals become crippled and unable to walk.
as you can see, it’s all pretty intense. he is on thyroid meds to slow the thyroid which slows his heart down so it doesn’t have to work so hard. he takes tramadol for his arthritis which helps with pain and allows him to move around, albeit slower than normal. the heart disease is a recent problem and talking to the vet for a long time, taking into account the amount of meds he is on now and the stress and trauma he goes through with tests and check ups, we have decided to keep him comfortable and watch for additional problems. he is comfortable, eats (alot!) purrs when we scrumful and i get on the floor and rub his belly, uses his catboxs like normal, likes to get under the covers and sleep with me (head on my arm, helps keep his head above his heart and lungs so he breathes easier). he does get tired very easy though and when he is sauntering (waddling actually but i try not to laugh cause he gets indignant!) around the house he has to nap frequently. he is stone deaf so i have to make sure he doesn’t stress out trying to figure out where i am.
so i don’t go anywhere anymore and for those of you i have said i will be going to your events, i am sorry but i can’t. he may last only days or weeks or possibly months but as doc says, he is old and is slowly wearing out. we all do and i would hope that me being around helps ease his mind. thanks for listening and please send good, peaceful thoughts, prayers and energy.
j

Ganesha / Ganesh – Spray Paint on Canvas by me…..

eclectic haze:

amazing and beautiful…

Originally posted on Ray Ferrer - Emotion on Canvas:

Ganesha / Ganesh – Spray Paint on Canvas by me….

Many of you have seen my previous post showing the 22 hours that went into the stencil to make this piece.

Although the original painting is spoken for I am offering a limited number of signed prints in a couple of different sizes that are ready to frame and hang :)

Original is 20″ x 16″ canvas, spray paint only, by me

Here is the final product.  Click on the link below or on the image itself :)

Available here —->  GANESHA PRINT

Enjoy!

Ferrer - Ganesh Small pic

View original

just questions…

i have been wondering about something… how is it that you can have hundreds of “friends” yet feel so totally alone? is this what the world is going to be like forever? all of us holed up inside, poking away at our keyboards, sharing pictures and stories? i am not trying to get a ton of responses just to prove something… nor am i trying to get more “followers”… am sincerely questioning what is happening in my life and was wondering if anyone else felt the same way… maybe i am depressed… maybe i am just bone deep tired of trying to fit in to the “norm”…

danced at an outside wedding over the weekend… a view of the ocean, wind in the trees, sun hot on my skin, talking with someone about life and watching the jet trails of the plane coming back from hawaii… watching friends hug and laugh and cry happy tears… it was like getting a drink of fresh cool water after a long hot day… there is so much out there in the world and i am tired of looking at it on a 10 by 13 limited window…

i am tired of trying to figure out if the conversation with someone online is real or are we just making up things to keep up the front we have created… don’t you feel the need to see friends face to face? to watch their eyes and their smiles? how can we “feel” what the other is feeling if  the sharing is in vr?

can we continue this way of communicating to one and still keep what makes us human?

 

amazing youth…

it’s graduation day here… memorials abound when normally sighs of relief and partying into the night are de rigueur … one of their own is gone, taken quickly and with no warning… we adults are stung, still reeling but moving along and forgetting the pain more and more each day… the youth (“kids” sounds too juvenile) here still hold her close to their hearts… still mourning, still shocked, still memorializing, still trying to cope.  do you see them? do you know how much they hold inside so as not to be uncool, too emo, too royal drama  to their peers?

to the youth around the world who are still trying to process the death of their own through shootings, alcohol, simple accidents… stay strong… lean on each other if you can’t get to your family… bring peace to the world by being the loving, caring people you hide from us…