I had a dream.

It has been a tumultuous week. I’ve been sleeping fitfully every night, even at the hotel, while waiting for information on my mom.

Even there, I slept in the lazy boy in the room. It felt safe and cozy, and even though I was only sleeping a couple of hours at a time, it seemed to be enough.

Now I’m home, and for 2 nights, I have slept on the couch. Last night, I had a dream that all of my exes were there, even the dead ones, talking to me, and I  realized I probably didn’t listen to them very well when they were around.

That being said, I had just finished 2 bowls full of black seedless grapes that I had frozen. So it was kind of like eating a lot of little popsicles. Which would account for the weird dreams.

Anyway, I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. Not even to say I was sorry.
And I suddenly realized why I was having this dream. It was because I was lonely.
  That were I in the same place as my mother, I wouldn’t really have family or a loved one that would gather, would sit with me while I try to learn how to eat or learn to talk or learn to walk. I don’t have kids. My brother’s gonna have his hands full.  Both my brothers, for that matter
And it made me sad.

Then a voice vibrated in my head and said “I can fix that”. Half awake, I said, “How will you fix it?” My cat, who hadn’t slept on me at night since the whole cat b&b thing, crawled up in my lap and laid down facing me, eyes gleaming just a bit by the slight glow thrown off the blue nightlight. By now, I was fully awake, so I said “thank you,” looked at the clock that said 11:30, scritched her chin, and slept for 7 hours. For the first time  in a week.