alexa’s response to my good morning today was to inform me that on this day in 1979 the board game trivial pursuit was invented. the trivia part was that it took the creators two years to write the original 6,000 questions and they did it without the benefit of the internet.
i remembered being amazed at the information available while playing. it made you feel smarter somehow. then i wanted to know when the internet (or the “world wide web”) was available to the general public.
august 6th, 1991 double wow… and a head shake
then i remembered my first taste of computers. in the wilds of binghamton, new york i started taking a home learning course on coding. it came with a computer (megabites worth of computer power and very little memory!). after working hours on lines of code, i remember the first time i typed in something on that black screen and waited while things whirred, then magically the words “hello” appeared. it was a defining moment and i was hooked. unfortunately life took me by the throat and shook me around for the next number of years (i don’t remember how many or maybe don’t want to remember) and sadly that was the only piece of code i ever wrote.
fast forward to post 1991 when aol, prodigy, compuserve and genie were the only online public services and everything was on dial-up which means nobody could ever call anyone! i remember hours spent in aol chat rooms, creating friendships and even attended two aol chat meet ups, one in dallas, tx and the other in west hollywood. and it all took forever, dial up was a 5 minute wait, downloading anything was hours if not days… and the entire time we were tying up phone lines, sometimes two. a good blog to read on exactly what it was like in those days is childrenofthenineties.blogspot.com
and now after talking to a friend i realize that most of the children don’t know how to use a landline phone, that watching tv commercials just isn’t done (hear that advertisers? think youtube video where it’s only at the beginning of whatever is being watched or streaming with just a lead in ad).
and now net neutrality is no longer and how many of us knew it was even a thing and how many of us understand what it all really means?
and why is it that an artificial intelligence/social bot is the one who turned me onto all of this?
so the 50,000 words in a month start today and i am still basking in the glow of another birthday. no, no parties or festivities or even a cake (rico not having opposable thumbs). no, the afterglow is the feeling of finding your place in your place. that feel of connection, of purpose and of peace. i am now 62 and i think i deserve to quit worrying. i don’t want to huddle with the masses, afraid of what’s coming next, what will happen if that and do we have any future.
i choose life and love and hope.
tonight i start my book, 1666.6 words per day. i have been doing this every november for about 13 years and haven’t finished one yet. this year i will because this year i will simply write and use paper and pencil instead of a computer… because then i can feel what is happening and where they (the characters) are going and how they are feeling. and i won’t plan i will just watch the “movie”. if you want to know what it’s all about, this novel in a month thing go to National Novel Writing Month.
thank you for all your well wishes, you truly are my friends and i “like” love you all
life has narrowed down to very specific things, examining it has become a bit of a pastime. what i found is that having stuff is stifling, crowded and not at all comfortable. so begins the cleansing…
during this process i have also found out a few things that i have been making every effort to ignore… i am scattered, i am lonely and i am tired.
the opening scene of chapter 2 in Rob Brezsny’s book The Televisionary Oracle cut deep and so i had to acknowledge the loneliness, i live in 450 sq ft room and still lose things so that needs to be addressed and i have been working far too many hours to stay afloat and adrift and haven’t decided if it is worth it.
the only thing that keeps me fully functioning is dance. don’t get me wrong, i love my work and if it wasn’t there i would probably have turned hermit a long time ago. but dance is where my soul flies free.
so tonight brings a new life chapter. dance becomes as important as work and others can use the clothes, dishes, books and stuff that I haven’t used, worn or even looked at for 2 years.
as for the loneliness, that can be fixed later… or not. after getting comfortable in this life again, we will take a look forward.
i have been wondering about something… how is it that you can have hundreds of “friends” yet feel so totally alone? is this what the world is going to be like forever? all of us holed up inside, poking away at our keyboards, sharing pictures and stories? i am not trying to get a ton of responses just to prove something… nor am i trying to get more “followers”… am sincerely questioning what is happening in my life and was wondering if anyone else felt the same way… maybe i am depressed… maybe i am just bone deep tired of trying to fit in to the “norm”…
danced at an outside wedding over the weekend… a view of the ocean, wind in the trees, sun hot on my skin, talking with someone about life and watching the jet trails of the plane coming back from hawaii… watching friends hug and laugh and cry happy tears… it was like getting a drink of fresh cool water after a long hot day… there is so much out there in the world and i am tired of looking at it on a 10 by 13 limited window…
i am tired of trying to figure out if the conversation with someone online is real or are we just making up things to keep up the front we have created… don’t you feel the need to see friends face to face? to watch their eyes and their smiles? how can we “feel” what the other is feeling if the sharing is in vr?
can we continue this way of communicating to one and still keep what makes us human?
it’s graduation day here… memorials abound when normally sighs of relief and partying into the night are de rigueur … one of their own is gone, taken quickly and with no warning… we adults are stung, still reeling but moving along and forgetting the pain more and more each day… the youth (“kids” sounds too juvenile) here still hold her close to their hearts… still mourning, still shocked, still memorializing, still trying to cope. do you see them? do you know how much they hold inside so as not to be uncool, too emo, too royal drama to their peers?
to the youth around the world who are still trying to process the death of their own through shootings, alcohol, simple accidents… stay strong… lean on each other if you can’t get to your family… bring peace to the world by being the loving, caring people you hide from us…
had to apologize the other day… for being an arrogant know it all… while thinking about the result it occurred to me that knowing yourself and apologizing when the not so nice bits manifest isn’t easy… but it is soul clearing and a clear lesson on watching and thinking about what you say to others… as well as really listening instead of picking only parts of the conversation to comment on…
things that prompt these random posts are clients… and the shower… and eavesdropping… and my catmate… and the the books i read, which since i inherited approximately 2000 of them from a client has been a real challenge to organize… suffice to say, life…
so what’s the thought for the day? listening to someone stress out about their grandkids and how they don’t show any respect for their grandparents and what is wrong with the children theses days, why are they so rude, why do the never say please or thank you, and i want to ask where are the parents, your kids? the ones who are supposed to lead by example and teach your grandchildren appropriate behaviours…
what the heck am i talking about? it’s friday pip emma and my brain has suddenly shut down. time to go home and make my new clothes and have a couple me days…