afterglow

so the 50,000 words in a month start today and i am still basking in the glow of another birthday. no, no parties or festivities or even a cake (rico not having opposable thumbs). no, the afterglow is the feeling of finding your place in your place. that feel of connection, of purpose and of peace. i am now 62 and i think i deserve to quit worrying. i don’t want to huddle with the masses, afraid of what’s coming next, what will happen if that and do we have any future.

i choose life and love and hope.

tonight i start my book, 1666.6 words per day. i have been doing this every november for about 13 years and haven’t finished one yet.  this year i will because this year i will simply write and use paper and pencil instead of a computer… because then i can feel what is happening and where they (the characters) are going and how they are feeling. and i won’t plan i will just watch the “movie”. if you want to know what it’s all about, this novel in a month thing go to National Novel Writing Month.

thank you for all your well wishes, you truly are my friends and i “like” love you all

namaste

j

just questions…

i have been wondering about something… how is it that you can have hundreds of “friends” yet feel so totally alone? is this what the world is going to be like forever? all of us holed up inside, poking away at our keyboards, sharing pictures and stories? i am not trying to get a ton of responses just to prove something… nor am i trying to get more “followers”… am sincerely questioning what is happening in my life and was wondering if anyone else felt the same way… maybe i am depressed… maybe i am just bone deep tired of trying to fit in to the “norm”…

danced at an outside wedding over the weekend… a view of the ocean, wind in the trees, sun hot on my skin, talking with someone about life and watching the jet trails of the plane coming back from hawaii… watching friends hug and laugh and cry happy tears… it was like getting a drink of fresh cool water after a long hot day… there is so much out there in the world and i am tired of looking at it on a 10 by 13 limited window…

i am tired of trying to figure out if the conversation with someone online is real or are we just making up things to keep up the front we have created… don’t you feel the need to see friends face to face? to watch their eyes and their smiles? how can we “feel” what the other is feeling if  the sharing is in vr?

can we continue this way of communicating to one and still keep what makes us human?

 

amazing youth…

it’s graduation day here… memorials abound when normally sighs of relief and partying into the night are de rigueur … one of their own is gone, taken quickly and with no warning… we adults are stung, still reeling but moving along and forgetting the pain more and more each day… the youth (“kids” sounds too juvenile) here still hold her close to their hearts… still mourning, still shocked, still memorializing, still trying to cope.  do you see them? do you know how much they hold inside so as not to be uncool, too emo, too royal drama  to their peers?

to the youth around the world who are still trying to process the death of their own through shootings, alcohol, simple accidents… stay strong… lean on each other if you can’t get to your family… bring peace to the world by being the loving, caring people you hide from us…

thoughts… again

had to apologize the other day… for being an arrogant know it all… while thinking about the result it occurred to me that knowing yourself and apologizing when the not so nice bits manifest isn’t easy… but it is soul clearing and a clear lesson on watching and thinking about what you say to others… as well as really listening instead of picking only parts of the conversation to comment on…

ciao

just the usual weirdness…

things that prompt these random posts are clients… and the shower… and eavesdropping… and my catmate… and the the books i read, which since i inherited approximately 2000 of them from a client has been a real challenge to organize… suffice to say, life…

so what’s the thought for the day? listening to someone stress out about their grandkids and how they don’t show any respect for their grandparents and what is wrong with the children theses days, why are they so rude, why do the never say please or thank you, and i want to ask where are the parents, your kids? the ones who are supposed to lead by example and teach your grandchildren appropriate behaviours…

what the heck am i talking about? it’s friday pip emma and my brain has suddenly shut down. time to go home and make my new clothes and have a couple me days…

ciao

early morning…

woke up at 345, wide awake. catman is still asleep and since he is deaf, it’s pretty easy to slip out and get coffee… turned on the computer to check emails… not something i usually do but needed to know when the food order from the co-op i belong to comes in so i can make sure there is time to take it home and put it away… most of it is frozen… great thing by the way, check out http://www.azurestandard.com for more info in your area… just picked up the premier issue of mindful magazine last night and i am definitely signing up… not only for me but i think my clients would like it… every one needs to learn how to ground and center… especially like the articles talking about teaching it to kids in school… amazing the changes that happen… not many people know this but in 8th grade my teacher asked me what i wanted to do with my life… i told him teaching or doing hair… well i got to do both as an international educator and education director in the hair industry so i was lucky… i still enjoy teaching, watching that spark that happens when the student understands and then watch them take it and run past me and soar, but i don’t get to do it very often… and i miss it… seems to be part of why i was put on this planet… almost 6 so time to get ready for work… a 12 hour day today so i won’t be posting later… since the shower is usually where i come up with wild thoughts, ideas and musings, will save them all for a later post… have a fabulous, loving, centered day…

the joys of getting wise… or old…

two things have happened this week that, i have decided, are a direct result of joyous aging and loving life.

i collect antique jewelry… you know the rhinestone, over the top stuff… i know it doesn’t seem to be my style, too girly, but it is so over the top it fits! anyway, i have been wearing the necklaces and big brooches but have never been able to wear the clip earrings… my ears are not only small but have no earlobes… if they were pointed they would be elf ears.

so yesterday i got my glitz (bling being too crude a word) on and just for kicks, decided to try the earrings. imagine my surprise when they not only clipped on but stayed all day!!! the answer? i am getting older and like the rest of me, things are allowing gravity to grab hold and my non-existent earlobes have “sagged”! HAH! it couldn’t have been more perfect or happened at a more fabulous time! because i find the older you get the more leeway people give you so you get away with anything!!

then this morning, while the car was warming up, i tried out my splitting maul a client was kind enough to have fixed… and it was fun and energizing and dang if it didn’t split the stuff i thought i was going to have to take a chain saw to! so what does that have to do with getting older? cause it was fun and made me feel great and when you are this age it’s the little (or heavy!) things that count.

so find something to laugh about, have fun with and feel good about every day… pretty soon you will be so busy discovering wonderful things about your world you won’t have time to whine about your health or your life or the dozens of things that make your blood pressure sky rocket even though there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it! now breathe… that was a heck of a sentence!

and that my friends, is what it means to be a pronoiac!!!