so the 50,000 words in a month start today and i am still basking in the glow of another birthday. no, no parties or festivities or even a cake (rico not having opposable thumbs). no, the afterglow is the feeling of finding your place in your place. that feel of connection, of purpose and of peace. i am now 62 and i think i deserve to quit worrying. i don’t want to huddle with the masses, afraid of what’s coming next, what will happen if that and do we have any future.
i choose life and love and hope.
tonight i start my book, 1666.6 words per day. i have been doing this every november for about 13 years and haven’t finished one yet. this year i will because this year i will simply write and use paper and pencil instead of a computer… because then i can feel what is happening and where they (the characters) are going and how they are feeling. and i won’t plan i will just watch the “movie”. if you want to know what it’s all about, this novel in a month thing go to National Novel Writing Month.
thank you for all your well wishes, you truly are my friends and i “like” love you all
i have been wondering about something… how is it that you can have hundreds of “friends” yet feel so totally alone? is this what the world is going to be like forever? all of us holed up inside, poking away at our keyboards, sharing pictures and stories? i am not trying to get a ton of responses just to prove something… nor am i trying to get more “followers”… am sincerely questioning what is happening in my life and was wondering if anyone else felt the same way… maybe i am depressed… maybe i am just bone deep tired of trying to fit in to the “norm”…
danced at an outside wedding over the weekend… a view of the ocean, wind in the trees, sun hot on my skin, talking with someone about life and watching the jet trails of the plane coming back from hawaii… watching friends hug and laugh and cry happy tears… it was like getting a drink of fresh cool water after a long hot day… there is so much out there in the world and i am tired of looking at it on a 10 by 13 limited window…
i am tired of trying to figure out if the conversation with someone online is real or are we just making up things to keep up the front we have created… don’t you feel the need to see friends face to face? to watch their eyes and their smiles? how can we “feel” what the other is feeling if the sharing is in vr?
can we continue this way of communicating to one and still keep what makes us human?
things that prompt these random posts are clients… and the shower… and eavesdropping… and my catmate… and the the books i read, which since i inherited approximately 2000 of them from a client has been a real challenge to organize… suffice to say, life…
so what’s the thought for the day? listening to someone stress out about their grandkids and how they don’t show any respect for their grandparents and what is wrong with the children theses days, why are they so rude, why do the never say please or thank you, and i want to ask where are the parents, your kids? the ones who are supposed to lead by example and teach your grandchildren appropriate behaviours…
what the heck am i talking about? it’s friday pip emma and my brain has suddenly shut down. time to go home and make my new clothes and have a couple me days…
standing in the bathroom, bright lights all around, is one of the hardest things i do every day. but today was different. instead of examining things and pointing out all of the obvious signs that youth has fled and age is screaming onto center stage, i chose to seriously look, compare, enjoy and see all the things that are good. body is thicker but then i knew that would happen. look at your family photos and you will know. but guess what? i can still do a back bend during floor section and even come up out of it with grace… i am teaching belly dance to people who could be my kids… possibly grand kids! and do it for 2 straight hours… still can work 12 hours a day and the only thing that aches are my feet… and that’s mostly because i insist on wearing fashion shoes. no back problems, no health problems… hair is still thick and grows like a weed… yeah it’s grey but red fits so it’s gonna stay that way! eyesight is still bad at a distance but has actually gotten almost perfect close up… skin good, not many wrinkles… in other words i ain’t bad for an old broad!!! so this aging thing? i am good with it… if the young ones sneer i have only to think about what they are looking forward to and hope the whole process doesn’t push them off the cliff… life rocks no matter how old, what color or whatever…
two things have happened this week that, i have decided, are a direct result of joyous aging and loving life.
i collect antique jewelry… you know the rhinestone, over the top stuff… i know it doesn’t seem to be my style, too girly, but it is so over the top it fits! anyway, i have been wearing the necklaces and big brooches but have never been able to wear the clip earrings… my ears are not only small but have no earlobes… if they were pointed they would be elf ears.
so yesterday i got my glitz (bling being too crude a word) on and just for kicks, decided to try the earrings. imagine my surprise when they not only clipped on but stayed all day!!! the answer? i am getting older and like the rest of me, things are allowing gravity to grab hold and my non-existent earlobes have “sagged”! HAH! it couldn’t have been more perfect or happened at a more fabulous time! because i find the older you get the more leeway people give you so you get away with anything!!
then this morning, while the car was warming up, i tried out my splitting maul a client was kind enough to have fixed… and it was fun and energizing and dang if it didn’t split the stuff i thought i was going to have to take a chain saw to! so what does that have to do with getting older? cause it was fun and made me feel great and when you are this age it’s the little (or heavy!) things that count.
so find something to laugh about, have fun with and feel good about every day… pretty soon you will be so busy discovering wonderful things about your world you won’t have time to whine about your health or your life or the dozens of things that make your blood pressure sky rocket even though there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it! now breathe… that was a heck of a sentence!
and that my friends, is what it means to be a pronoiac!!!